Because I hate playing with people from my school because most of the WoW players from school are annoying as all fuck. And I’m best friends with the whores and the potheads, so none of them even know how to play.
You know who you are. And you know what makes me jealous?
When you take your new friends to Starbucks, where all of us used to hang out! Oh no! What am I gonna do??!? Maybe I should go and bow down before you so you’ll come sit with us again. Obviously, IT IS TIME TO PANIC!
No, seriously, stop it. I understand (SARCASM ALERT) that we’re your old, shitty friends, but if you think you can win over the people at Starbucks just because you go in and sit there with your new friends, thiiiink again.
By the way, your new friends might be retarded enough to trust you, but they’re not blind. Eventually they’ll see you. The REAL you, no fake smiles or adorable (SARCASM ALERTTTT) high-pitched voice. Just you. And trust me, when they see it, it won’t be pretty. And I think you’re running out of new, apparently better friends.
You know what’s sad? I actually liked you and thought you were my friend. I think Kate thought so to. But what were we? Did you think because we were fucked up in the head that we would make you look better to everyone else? Because I’ve got a secret for you: You’re as fucked up as we are. Don’t pretend you’re better and wiser and shit. You’re just as sick and self-centered as the rest of us.
You know what’s REALLY sad? You don’t even realize what you’ve done. Katie and I are going to have so many amazing memories from high school, but then there’s going to be that moment where we remember that we lost a friend (or what we thought was one). We really wanted to make it right before we leave the building for the last time, but you wouldn’t even let us do that.
So I guess this is goodbye, friend. I guess the times we had before were great, I hope your new friends will run to your house when you’re crying and defend you.
By the way, Mike wants his fucking cookie sheet back. Or did you not realize that you hurt him too?